My wife had a friend over recently. In the midst of chit-chat (you know how much I like that),I probed for more meaningful conversation. I asked, "How are you andJohn doing? How’s your marriage? She replied, "It’s OK, I guess.” "You guess?” I asked. "How could you not know for sure?” She responded with an oh-too familiar scenario… She explained, "Well, we are both doing our part. I am taking care of the kids, the house and my elder parents, and he is working long hours providing for the family. He shows up for dinner and soccergames, so I think we are doing fine.” I responded, "Sounds like you are both performing your roles as domestic partners, but what about your relationship? How is that going?” "Well, life is so busy I think we are doing the best we can,” she said. "That’s dangerous,” I warned. "What do you mean?” she asked.Then I drew out this diagram on a napkin. (see figure) “Here is what happens if you don’t realize there is a third ‘person’ that needs to be cared for. Both of you are doing your part and you do it for 10, 20 or more years. You are living together, raising a family, ‘doing your part’ just fine, but this third entity is never (or rarely) cared for, fed, nurtured or nourished. It gets weak and in many cases withers and dies. You wake up 20 years later. While you are good roommates and you might genuinely care for each other, your romantic relationship has starved… to death. All the while you thought you were ‘doing fine.’ ” I explained further, CLICK TO READ REST OF ARTICLE

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]